


Not All Humans

by TinderWulf



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-18
Updated: 2012-09-19
Packaged: 2017-11-14 12:45:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/515366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinderWulf/pseuds/TinderWulf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Filled for a prompt on the kink-meme: "Femshep gets tired of hearing that turian always going on how humans are all racist. So with Garrus' blessing, she makes sure he'll never, ever complain about humans ever again."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All belongs to Bioware. 
> 
>  
> 
> No beta, please ignore typos/bad grammar that I missed.

The first thing Shepard hears when she exits the transport car is, "You humans are all racist!"

 _Jeez. Not this guy again._ She was tired, hungry, and on a mission. The mission? To find an honest-to-goodness burger. Garrus rumbles his amusement at her annoyance. Shepard shot him a glare.

"Don't even, Garrus."

They pass through customs quickly, but have to stand to be scanned. Again. 

"Sorry for the inconvenience, Ma'am."

She growls in annoyance this time, startling Sgt. Haron. Garrus hiding his laughter. She chooses to ignore him. Once the door opens, she heads straight to Bailey's desk.

"Get that damn scanner fixed, Bailey." 

Bailey nods, knowing better than to comment when she is in this mood.

"And, please direct us to a place that makes real burgers. I'm starving!"

Shepard loads the directions onto her omnitool and makes her way out into the ward.

"You humans are all racist!"

 _Are you kidding me?_ There is that same white colored turian, this time accusing a screen with Emily Wong's face on it. The turian huffs and walks off. 

They hear him several more times before they reach their destination on level 28 of Zakera ward. Shepard tries her best to not let it bother her. It is difficult. Even more so when she hears him spout the same line to 'Ms. Westerland News', mostly because she didn't get to say it herself. She lets him have that win though when he causes just enough distraction to allow her and Garrus to walk into the somewhat high-end fast food restaurant that caters to all species. The enter without being noticed. 

While the smell of the mixed species foods is not flattering, her hunger for that juicy cheeseburger keeps her going. She saw the turian out the window still talking to the reporter

"Hmm. Maybe you should show him exactly how racist you are, Shepard." 

She loved the tingle the swept straight to her core when he purred in her ear like that. It took her several moments to process what he had said.

"What? You want me to..."

 _He couldn't possibly mean what I think he means._ His mandible flicked into a smug smirk.

"Well...so long as I can watch and we agree upon some rules beforehand, then...," his voice lowering a level, "yeah, definitely."

"What rules?", nearly a whisper.

"I only share you with men that you and I both agree on, and I have the option of joining should I want to. If at any time one of us becomes uncomfortable or jealous, we stop. Oh, and the Normandy is our home, so not there."

It sounded reasonable. And seeing him dominate the hell out of another male...or be dominated. That was pretty fucking arousing. 

"I'll think about it, Garrus. Right now, I just want to eat."

They order their meals then find a table off in the corner with a good view of the whole room. Once their meals arrive, Shepard quickly grabs the mother-of-all cheeseburgers, her mouth watering...begging for a taste, but before she can take a bite, a familiar -annoying- phrase catches her ear.

"You humans are all racist!"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me! Okay Garrus, I agree."

Garrus laughs softly, aroused. They begin to formulate a plan between bites, or in Shepard's case, in between moans of satisfaction that turn a few heads, and praise to a flustered and blushing chef.


	2. Chapter 2

Pilon Versatie was having a bad day. First that damn human customs officer put his ceremonial blade in a locker, free to be picked up once a permit had been purchased. Then that human reporter for Citadel News Net had been hired instead of him. The human store clerk told him they were out of turian cruiser models. The human weapons store clerk said they were out of a turian pistol replacement parts. The human video game clerk had sold the last Galaxy of Fantasy: Turian Edition to the human in line before him, it would be two weeks to restock their supply. Then lastly, that insufferable human 'reporter' with a black eye began questioning him simply because he was turian. 

_Humans. Humans. Humans. Humans. Humans!_ He couldn't wait to get back to Palaven.

To top it off, every time he turned around, that damned armored human female and that turian were there. _Stalking_ him. They were at the restaurant before him, however. But he couldn't shake the feeling that they were staring at him when he wasn't looking. And the way the female moaned when she took a bite of whatever was in her hands seemed somewhat pornographic. If the red flush rising up the chef's neck was anything to go by, it was. _Is this what humans call 'Food Porn'?_

All he had wanted was to get his errands ran, go pick up a delicious viparu-burger, come back to his hotel room and eat in peace.

Once he got back to his room, he did just that. Moaning when the taste of the viparu-burger hit his tongue. _Been too long since I had one of these. Perhaps that human had been feeling the same of her meal. Food Porn, indeed._ He took a long hot shower, trying to let the hot water ease his tense muscles. He dressed in his casuals before laying on the bed to watch some vid that was on, quickly drifting to sleep.

-

He was jerked awake by loud knocking on the door.

"Yeah, I'm comin'!"

He opened the door, confused when his eyes met a polarized turian helmet. Nervous, when his eyes traveled lower noticing a huge black scorch mark on the neck piece. _That had to hurt._

"Uh, can I help you?"

"Yeah, I've been sent to bring you in on SPECTRE orders for questioning."

"What? Why?

"As I do not have SPECTRE clearance sir, I cannot tell you the reason. I'm just following orders. I am a confidential informant." The turian said pointing to his helmet. "For your own protection, sir, I will need to cover your face. The SPECTRE wishes to protect your identity."

Pilon doesn't like it, but he's a good turian and good turians followed orders. _I hope this isn't about that sex vid of a high-ranking Hierarchy official that got out. Spirits, I don't want to see it again._ He gathers a few things before nodding his consent. 

"Who are you, anyway?"

The turian answered as he put the black bag over Pilon's head, "Call me Archangel."


	3. Chapter 3

Pilon stayed quiet as the turian led him to a vehicle. He was a little nervous. The turi...Archangel, was gentle enough with him though. When the vehicle eventually came to a stop, they exited and walked slowly, Archangel guiding him with quiet words or gentle nudges. When they stopped walking, Archangel rapped twice on the door, once, then once more. Pilon felt the air brush against him when the door opened. He was led inside and told to sit on the bed. He's a good turian. 

He was calm until someone sat on his lap, then he began to fidget.

"Stop moving."

A female voice. Human or asari. He stopped moving though. Two turian hands took his and moved them to the females hips, slightly squeezing, telling him to keep his hands there. _This is getting a little too weird._ He was confused when the five-fingered female ran her hands up his chest, until they came to rest at his neck where the bottom of the cloth that covered his head lay. She slipped her fingers under it grazing his mandible. He was about to demand an explanation when she spoke.

"For clarification purposes, you are Pilon Versatie? Yes or no."

"Yes."

"You spent your day saying 'You humans are all racist?"

"Uh...yes."

She removed the bag from over his head. His mandibles went slack in surprise. 

"You!" He turned his head at the sound of clanking armor, "And you! You two have been following me all day!" She was sitting on him in her undergarments and she didn't seem to care.

"No. We bumped into you all day while you yelled. It was very annoying." She ran her fingers up the back of his neck making him shudder. "Archangel here, my mate, thought I should show you that not all humans are racist."

_Oh._

"And if I find humans repulsive?"

He moaned when she increased pressure under his short fringe.

"I don't think that'll be a problem."

_I'm a bad turian._

"And your mate?"

"Oh, I think for the moment I will just watch."

Pilon turned back to the human, "What do I call you?"

"Anything you want."


	4. Chapter 4

Shepard pushed him down on the bed, quickly opening his shirt. The light danced across his white plates. It was beautiful, almost like snow in the sunlight. 

"Uh...I don't get off Palaven much.", he confessed, sitting up to remove his top while Shepard ran her hands over his naked chest.

"You mean you are inexperienced in regards to sexual relations with species outside of turians?"

"Yes."

Shepard flung his shirt behind her as soon as he got it off. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." Shepard looked up at Garrus' chuckle, seeing him remove his shirt before sitting in an oversized chair he dragged to the side of the bed.

"I'm sure you'll see soon enough, Pilon."  
\----

Pilon was not sure what to do or where to touch. He looked to Archangel, his mandibles flicking in amusement. 

"Remove her shirt."

Pilon did as he was told, pulling it over her head and dropping it off the side of the bed. He wrapped a hand around her neck to pull her down so he could smell her, her scent a mix of something sweet, gun oil, and arousal. She turned her head, pulling back slightly then sucked on the edge of his mandible. Both males moaned.   
\----

It wouldn't take much for Shepard to peak, but she wanted to drag it out as much as she could for Garrus. She wouldn't be able to for very long. She wanted to ride Pilon's cock, but first she had to persuade the organ to come out and play.

Shepard slid off of Pilon's lap pulling his pants down as she went. His pelvic plates were moist and loose, it wouldn't take much to arouse him further. She kneeled between his spread legs and licked the slit between his pelvic plates. 

Pilon's hips jerked up, "Spirits!"

She ran her tongue over the slit again, this time suckily lightly at the loosening plates. She looked to Garrus seeing his predatory gaze transfixed on her mouth. She moaned when she lightly ran her fingers over her covered clit, causing Garrus to release an aroused, knowing growl. He was sitting back in his chair, hands gripping the arm rests and his erection pressing against his undersuit pants. 

Shepard ran her free hand up the side of Pilon's sensitive waist forcing a moan from his throat, his pevlic plates nearly open enough to release her prize.   
\----

Pilon gripped the bedsheets like his life depended on it. He didn't know where to put his hands and the pleasure was so intense he was sure there would be holes in the sheets from his talons. 

Turian women didn't do this casually. It wasn't something you got in a stress-relief encounter. He had only trusted one female enough, but this...this felt so different. She _suckled_ his plates. Coaxing them open with those wonderous lips and tongue. 

She bit his inner thigh, the sensations going straight to his cock.  
\----


	5. Chapter 5

She began to tease his cock as it slowly emerged, mapping the bumps and ridges with her fingertips. 

Shepard was ready to ride him. She was close enough she had to stop teasing herself. She stood, quickly discarding her panties and grabbing a condom that Garrus was holding for her. 

"Scoot up on the bed, Pilon."

When his feet were no longer hanging off the bed she began to climb up his body, laying bites and licks until his cock was in her face. Both males growled when she took Pilon in her mouth.   
\----

Pilon held her hair back with a hand while he watched her mouth move over him.

"Spirits!"

He watched as her mouth moved down but when she began to move back up, she _sucked_. All he could do was throw his head back and moan while gripping her soft hair tighter.

"I will not last long....i-if you keep doing thaa-at."

She released him with a 'pop'. He released a sigh of relief, but it came out more as a whine. He looked to Archangel again. He had removed his pants and was stroking himself slowly. Pilon shuddered at the sight.  
\----

Shepard rolled to condom down onto Pilon before returning a hand to her clit. He wouldn't last long and she was determined to climax quickly. She crawled up his body as his hands began exploring everything he could touch. She moaned when Garrus told Pilon to squeeze her breasts, feeling the heaviness in her breasts from words alone. 

She lined herself up over Pilon's cock as he experimented with touches, ghosting his palm over her nipple. She stopped teasing her clit when she got close again, pausing while she slid down onto Pilon. When the beginnings of the orgasm faded she settled all the way down, rocking her hips then grinding in a circular motion. 

She felt the gentle throbs of her orgasm building quickly. She used Pilon's shoulders to support herself, his hands moving to her hips. 

She hears Garrus, "She is close. Let her find completion, then stop."

She grinds more urgently, her skin slick with sweat. Pilon thrusts up in time with her rocking, a hard thrust enough to push her over the edge. She throws her head back, arching her back, struggling to breathe while desperately riding Pilon through the waves of pleasure.   
\----

Pilon is close when she finally slowed, her skin glowing and flushed. Her sweat-slicked skin is not as unpleasant as he thought it would be. 

"Roll over, Pilon, and take her with you." 

Pilon rolls, the female wrapping her arms around his neck, fingers teasing his fringe.

"Hold up her hips so I can put a pillow under her."

He pulls her hips up, she moans rocking her hips against his.

"I'm going to fuck you while you fuck my mate. Okay?"


	6. Chapter 6

Pilon spreads his legs in agreement then adjusts the pillows so the angle is possible. 

Archangel is fingering him, loosening him. He is having a hard time concentrating on one sensation. The female is sucking at his mandibles again, her hands teasing his fringe, and she is _squeezing_ his cock while rocking her hips. It is nearly too much when Archangel pushes into him, but the female stops, allowing him bury his face in her neck and calm his breathing.  
\----

Shepard watches over Pilon's shoulder as Garrus pushes into him. Once Garrus is all the way inside Pilon he pulls back and thrusts forward, all three moaning at the pleasure. Shepard grabs Pilon's ass, pulling him more firmly against her as she rolls her hips in time with Garrus' thrusts.   
\----

Pilon can do nothing but receive. He cannot move his lower body. He pushes up using one elbow for support while using the other to touch what he can on the woman moaning beneath him. Her hip, waist, a breast. He pauses to pinch at the nipple lightly, then more firmly when she arches. He's close.  
\----

Shepard is close again. Normally having one orgasm a day is a plus for her, but two is rare. She looks at Garrus, begging him with her eyes to thrust harder and faster. Garrus growls before snapping his hips harder into Pilon.   
\----

Pilon grips a fistful of sheet with his wandering hand when Archangel fucks him harder. The females breathing becomes erratic, her body stiffening before she arches her back as far as she can, a hoarse moan leaving her lips as her nails dig into his ass.   
\----

Watching her come apart is enough to push both males over the edge, both thrusting into the writhing person beneath them, growling as the pleasure pulses through them.  
\----  
-

 

They separate and dispose of condoms. Pilon looks around, immediately noticing the room is almost exactly the same as his. Archangel spoke before he asked.

"Uh...yeah. I just took you and drove around a bit before bringing you back. Back entrances. We are ten floors above yours." Pilon nodded, too tired to really think about it. "Also, this room is registered to Mr. and Mrs. Hugginkiss. It's probably better to never mention the name Archangel."

"Consider that a SPECTRE's order, Pilon.", the female added from her place on the bed. 

He nods, accepting the order. He's a good turian. 

He gets dressed, feeling no awkwardness. This isn't uncommon in turian culture. 

Before he leaves, he clasps hands, showing respect, "I guess not all humans are racist, huh?"

The female laughs, "No, we aren't. You'd be surprised the amazing people you meet when you see the person, not the skin."

He nods, thinking over the words as he leaves. He gets all the way back to his room before he realizes there is only one female human spectre. And only one turian that fights next to her. Pilon isn't considered attractive by turian standards, but when he roams the Citadel the day after his perspective is changed, he can't help but feel pretty fucking sexy at having been invited into the bed of two high-profile public figures. His new-found confidence draws the eyes of many and the flirtatious smiles of several females.  
\--

"So Mrs. Hugginkiss, how do you feel about the turian councilor?"


End file.
